Showing posts with label mental illness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental illness. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Just a Thought with Mr. Peoplez 10 ways to Support Your Partner with Bi-polar

HealthCentral
Bipolar Disorder
Top 10 Ways to Support Your Partner With Bipolar Disorder
The HealthCentral Editorial Team Sep 7, 2012 (updated Dec 18, 2013)
    
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If your spouse or loved one has recently been diagnosed with bipolar disorder, you may be wondering what exactly to expect and how to best show your support. HealthCentral's Expert Patient G.J. Gregory shares his tips for helping a loved one cope.

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Boost your partner's confidence
Boost your partner
If you can make your partner or loved one feel good about him or herself, treatment and both of your lives will be so much easier.

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Take an active role in biopolar treatment
Help and remind your partner to take their pills. Don't count on your partner to be faithful to their medication, as they may slip from time to time. If they are seeing a psychiatrist or counselor, joining him or her for a session could be helpful. At minimum, if you have questions or concerns, write them down so your partner can take them to doctor's appointments.

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Recognize there are things we can't do
Recognize there are things we can
Some everyday tasks are difficult for people with bipolar disorder to do. For example, bill paying can be stressful, creating anger and frustration. Try to be understanding and help your partner.

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Remember your partner's strengths
Remember your partner
Appreciate your partner's strengths and super-hero abilities that come from bipolar disorder. Go along during a hypomanic phase when he or she wants sex multiple times per day. Take advantage of the situation. You might even go so far as to say "Paint the house I'll fulfill the fantasy you've been hinting at." Also, understand that medication may lead to a reduced sex drive at times.

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Be there during bad times
When he or she is in a bad frame of mind, don't be afraid. Don't put up a defense or brace yourself for something bad. Be there to talk and support your loved one. While they may be mean during a bad phase, stay with them.

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Embrace your partner's bipolar diagnosis
Embrace your partner
Accept your partner's bipolar diagnosis. It's going to change. His or her condition may not improve. Medication can control bipolar, but your partner won't be "cured." Realize that a bipolar diagnosis is not always a bad thing. Your loved one is the same person he or she has always been.

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Your partner may embarrass you at times
Your partner may do something bold, brash or stupid. Step up and support them in a non-condescending way, even though you may be embarrassed. Don't say "that's the bipolar disorder talking" or openly blame it on the condition. Accept your loved one, don't dwell on it, give them a hug to show that you understand, and move on. Your partner will be grateful.

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Remember that life won't be easy
A bipolar diagnosis takes its toll on every realtionship. Remember that things may not be easy. When bad epiodes come, they may be more dangerous and volatile than before. Rather than using his or her old coping techniques, after a bipolar diagnosis your partner may try harder to rein in  their behavior. This could make the phase worse.

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Watch for triggers and behavior changes
Watch for clues of upcoming changes to your partner's mood or frame of mind. You are in the best position to recognize the signs and help us identify and understand it.


Just a Thought: 6 rules to any relationships and Bi-polar

HealthCentral
Bipolar Disorder
5 Rules for Bipolar Relationships
John McManamy Sep 7, 2012 (updated Dec 4, 2013)
    
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As we all know, living in a loving relationship poses considerable challenges. Add bipolar to the mix, and the degree of difficulty suddenly gets a lot more difficult. How difficult? Imagine Yo-Yo Ma performing a Bach Cello Suite blindfolded while pedaling a unicycle backwards on a tightrope over Niagara Falls. Nevertheless, bipolar can enhance a loving relationship and enrich the lives of both parties. But we do need to be extremely mindful of the hazards.

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Never engage in a dialogue with the other person’s amygdala
Life is far more complicated in a bipolar brain. The amygdala-the part of the brain that activates flight-or-flight-may go off for no reason or may over-respond. The all-clear message gets lost. In this state, we become irrational and unreasonable, and there is no sense in trying to reason with us.

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Do not judge
We need to suspend judgment when the bipolar individual is acting out. He or she is reacting to the world as he or she sees it. So are you. Same world, two entirely different views. Do not judge. Take stock, determine where each of you are coming from. Resolve to work your way to an understanding.

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Think very carefully
When do you go with your head? When do you go with your heart? How do you justify a decision to your partner? Our only guide is a lifetime of experience, which inevitably involves a history of wrong choices. Mistakes are inevitable, but they may also give us the wisdom to move forward. Says the Dalai Lama: “When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.”

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You should never have to put up with abuse
This applies with equal force to both parties. The stress we put our partners through can be interpreted as a form of abuse. Each partner has the right to set their own boundaries, make their own rules, interpret abuse as they see fit. And ultimately each has the right to leave the relationship if their needs are not being met.

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You are entitled to happiness
The bipolar diagnosis should never cut us off from humanity. Our illness imbues us with an insight and wisdom that tends to leave the rest of the world for dead. We think and feel deeper and wider. We light up those around us. We have empathy in abundance. It goes without saying that we are a gift to the right person.